Someone asked, so here it is. My first–and last–entry in the “Al Qaeda is now freelancing for Zagat Restaurant Guide” failed internet meme. I thought it would catch on. It did not.
Renowned restaurant guide Zagat just announced Al Qaeda will be a part-time contributor. From their review of Goldblatt’s Deli in Upper West: Infidels will love “the hot pastrami on rye with just a touch of mustardy kick” though be careful of “Jewish conspiracies to poison pickles using the blood of demonic pigs” and recommends you “take up the sword in the beloved name of Allah, driving all non-believers to the fiery wastes of their doom.” Make sure to try their “perfectly-balanced Reuben” using “just the right amount of buttery, nutty Swiss” and then “find the nearest Jewess and cut off her head” before completing your meal with “some of New York’s best cheesecake.”
The semester started and I am very, very happy to be back. You know what comes out next month? You’re guessing Micah Nathan’s story in the February issue of Glimmer Train? You are correct. GT will contain my short thriller “Quarry” (among other excellent stories by various excellent writers).
I read about bees being used as security guards and it doesn’t feel right. Leave them alone. They’ve done enough for us. Also, hornets would be so much more effective. Or rats. With scorpions mounted on their backs.
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