It rains. A lot.
Archive for July, 2010
[Micah is in an undisclosed location, writing and stuff. Little Wolk goes off on owls]
Little Wolk here. Picture this—Zack Snyder, director of “300″ and “Dawn of the Dead,” pitches an idea to Warner Bros.:
Zack: ”Oh man, you guys are gonna love this. You’re just gonna love it. Okay, so there’s this legendary group of warriors who protect civilians. No one really knows if they exist or are simply mythical, but one day, this heroic guy who truly believes in them decides HE wants to join their ranks. He practices fighting and protecting, and it turns out that not only do the warriors exist, but there’s some sort of crisis and together they fight off the bad guys and save the day.”
Warner Bros. Exec: “Sure. Sounds good.”
Zack: ”Great! Oh yeah. There’s just one more thing.”
WB Exec: ”What is it?”
Zack: ”They’re all owls.”
Ladies and gentlemen, we are officially scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas. This is an actual movie. Granted, it’s based on a series of books [a series that has some readers miffed about a Christian agenda; I confess ignorance], but come on. Even the name is ridiculous and pretentious for a film about fighting owls, “Legend of the Guardians–The Owls of Ga’Hoole.”
Here’s the trailer. On the 4th viewing, when your brain starts to accept that it’s NOT a joke, be on the lookout for the following:
- An abundance of slow motion scenes with flapping owl wings and feathers
- Owls with evil red eyes
- Owls wearing bronze masks (to protect beaks/disguise their identity)
- The absurdity of talking owls with moving lips who speak with an Australian accent (sidenote, Owl Lips would make a great band name)
- Owls with longer eyelashes than Audrey Hepburn
- That one sagacious owl who is either standing on burning coals or smelling them
- The pivotal “owl holding a teakettle of fire” scene
What adds to my incredulity is that they’ve also chosen a 30 Seconds to Mars song to play in the background of the trailer. As if warrior owls wasn’t enough of a farce, they threw in Jared Leto’s band. And what is with 3D? Is it really necessary? I have yet to meet anyone who claims it enhances their movie-watching experience (I’m not counting Avatar here since that’s its own separate entity) [I will, because Avatar is Dances With Wolves set in a future where everyone is forced to recite lines from a bad script]. I’m guessing at the 3D showings of LOTG – TOOG’H [an even better band name than Owl Lips] there will be a lot of viewers swatting owls away from their faces.
Simulacrum
Fiction > Short story> Diagram
Simulacrum
Henry Seton had a simulacrum of himself constructed, which he would place in his stead whenever his notoriously ill moods saw fit. Dinner, a night at the movies, a trip to see long-lost cousins—all these events Henry Seton’s simulacrum enjoyed, with his wife at his side and three children in tow. The simulacrum was an artist’s representation of Henry Seton, and thus was imperfect. Henry’s sharp features were sculpted soft, his proud posture had been reduced to sloping shoulders and a hunched back, and his resonant voice was flattened, like a recording played in a padded room. Yet his imperfect imitation was accepted, and in time friends and family saw Henry’s simulacrum as Henry himself.
Years later, after Henry had traveled the world by ship while his simulacrum maintained a responsible domestic life, Henry found himself back home. He returned a different man: graying hair, skin roughened and tanned by sun and sea spray, a limp from a knife wound suffered in Kamchatka. Walking past the homes he’d once called neighbors, he expected things would look much different. But it was all still there—the Milligan’s blue house with a picket fence in need of a paint job, the Irving’s yellow house with its pulsing sprinkler watering a crabgrass lawn—and to Henry it appeared as though time had stopped when he left, and was now slowly creaking to life with his return.
He knocked on his front door. He noted the blueberry bushes at the edge of the lawn, and the towering ash tree that had tripled in size since the morning he left. His wife opened the door. She wore a green house dress and was barefoot, and her feet looked soft and pale, the color of stripped bark. She put her hand to her chest. She stood, staring for a long time. Her shoulders sagged and her chin lowered, as though she had been warring against gravity for years and was now finally ready to surrender.
Henry gazed at his wife’s wrinkles with sympathy because there were no oceans in her past. He imagined her years had been wasted staring out the kitchen window at the ash tree, watching its branches fork and lengthen, its leaves sprout and unfurl and shudder and fade. Time was hunger, Henry thought; it ate without pause and left behind fading memories like hollowed bones. He felt he could see these bones scattered around his wife’s bare feet.
I assume my simulacrum has taken good care of you, Henry said to his wife.
Your simulacrum has been gone for ten years, she said.
Henry sighed. The artist warned me it might run away. He said sometimes they become aware of what they are, and they long for other places.
Your simulacrum didn’t run away, she said. It died.
Henry’s wife explained their youngest daughter had fallen into a lake while boating with friends, and the simulacrum—standing on shore, letting the sun warm its peach-colored skin—heard her cries and ran into the water. No one had taught it how to swim; it drowned without realizing the necessity of oxygen, confused even as water filled its small lungs. The simulacrum’s body was recovered later that day, caught in a rush of reeds by the lake’s edge, its swollen face locked into an expression of wonderment.
Henry listened to his wife’s other stories. They were a diary of the ordinary, filled with birthdays and graduations, career changes and surgeries, betrayals and reconciliations. All told, his wife said, we’ve had a good life. Your simulacrum treated us well. It stayed when you could not, and took on more responsibilities than we thought possible. We mourned its loss, not because it resembled you, but because it remained true to its creation.
Henry sat on the front step. He already missed the white scour of waves. The echo and circle of gulls. The musk of port cities. He stared across the lawn, at the ash tree with its slatted shadow thrown long and wide over the grass. He remembered the day he left: a hurried morning, filled with visits to his banker, his financial advisor, and his insurance company. His final visit had been to the artist’s home, a loft in an old mill with painted cement floors and windows running floor to ceiling. There, standing in the glare of afternoon sun, the artist told Henry construction of his simulacrum needed more time. The simulacrum’s capacity for emotion was too simplistic; it understood loyalty and little else. In its present state it could not function as a member of the community, much less as a husband or a father.
Henry spoke to his unfinished simulacrum later that day, on their way to the harbor. You cannot possibly understand my reasons for leaving, Henry said. Yet my family will ask you to explain, and you will feel a responsibility to answer. So tell them this: I have lived two lives as long as I have been a husband and a father. Both have been true, but one remains unfulfilled. That is the wisdom of my unsatisfying life. It is the best answer I know.
Henry ordered his simulacrum to help load his trunks onto the steamer vessel. They then sat in a small pub at the end of a cluttered alley, and shared a drink and a meal while waiting for the ship’s crew. People passing by their table in the darkened corner of the bar asked if they were twins, and Henry told them Yes, we are, but I’m the handsome one. Henry remembered sharing a laugh with one such person, and the simulacrum had smiled dumbly. Not so dumbly, however. There was a tilt to its imperfect smile and a glimmer in its dull, milky eyes, Henry recalled. As if it was privy to something wonderful and secret.
Henry stared at the ash tree across his lawn and searched for the beginning of his stories. He had killed a man in Bushehr; slept with the daughter of a prince in Karachi; stolen a fortune in gold in Porto Alegre and wasted it all on pleasure. The bones of his memories were not hollow, he felt. There was no need to toss them aside. Nourishment could still be found like crumbled marrow dissolving on his tongue.
His wife tapped him on the shoulder. I suppose you want to see the children, she said.
If they will see me.
I can’t guarantee anything.
He closed his eyes and listened. The chirp of sparrows sounded familiar, like the cries of a gull circling high over a ship’s mast. His own breathing, rhythmic and strong, like the white scour of waves against a ship’s hull. And the smell of the suburbs, of fresh cut grass and sun-baked sidewalks. He spoke to his wife with his eyes closed: I can try to tell you the story of my life but I worry the memories will dissolve the moment I grasp for them. They will fade as if I were telling you a dream, as if I have been watching my life through a mirror, and now that I am ready to look away I can’t remember which is me and which is my reflection.
Maybe you are another simulacrum, his wife said. A better simulacrum that has made its way back here, to what was your home.
He opened his eyes. He had heard whispers of such a possibility. Simulacrums made in such perfect imitation of their owners that they suffered the same longing for escape. But Henry had believed his simulacrum was unfinished. It understood loyalty and little else. The artist warned him it could not function as a member of the community, much less as a husband or a father. Much less as an unsatisfied man running from the hunger of time in search of sun and sea spray and the circling cry of gulls drifting high above port cities.
Suddenly everything was in bright focus: the white of his wife’s bare feet, the small branches of the blueberry bushes, the gleaming sidewalk. Henry felt his pockets for his wallet. He looked at his brown leather shoes and tried to remember where he’d bought them. Bushehr? Karachi? Porto Alegre? Down the street?
I called out for you when you ran into the lake to save our daughter, Henry’s wife said. But you didn’t look back even as you realized you were drowning. You kept going. It was your most courageous moment.
Henry stood, slowly, and limped across the lawn, toward the ash tree. He strained to hear the echo of gulls. The threshing of waves. He touched the trunk of the ash tree and tried to remember the last time he’d run his fingers across its smooth bark.
All those years on an ocean vessel, Henry said to the tree. All those years and I never learned to swim.
Originally published in DIAGRAM September 2009
Wolk ex Machina
[Little Wolk is all growns up and has posted her first...er, post. Before I get back to the shed I'll secretly comment on her self-described inane ramblings. Then I really must go. No, seriously.]
Hi there. I’m Little Wolk. I can only assume I’ve earned this epithet by being a gargantuan five feet tall, but it’s catchy (and true) so I’m cool with it. In fact, here is me looking both Little and Wolk-y.

Little Wolk
Work soon beckons—the staring-at-a-screen-all-day-and-trying-to-write-something-worth-writing kind of work—which means fewer updates, which means a cry rises from the countryside. Women rip out their hair, men beat their chests with spiked gauntlets; a people mourn.
So I’ve acquired the services of a guest blogger, who I’ve named (without asking if she even likes it) Little Wolk, and who will be a refreshing change from my usual “Hey, this is what I’m working on!” thing. I have no idea what she likes (running marathons, I think), who she believes in (perhaps a God-head of some sort), or if she has a good relationship with her parents (I imagine so; she’s well-adjusted). But she’s very clever. So there’s that.
Also, the podcast will be delivered as promised. Early September, we’re thinking. I’m researching good mics and soundproofing for the writing shed. I just cannot abide poor sound.
Words to Defend and Deplore the Image: On David Mamet’s Speed The Plow
Non-fiction > Essay > Total Theater Magazine
Words to Defend and Deplore the Image: On David Mamet’s Speed the Plow
Style is a funny thing with writers, often portrayed as the opposite of substance, as though the two can’t happily co-exist. One could argue—and one will—that the style of a David Mamet play is its substance; imagine his work without the staccato chatter, the pauses, the repetition, the doubling-back fragments, the New York-infused vulgarity sweetened with a drop of Los Angeles gloss. His characters talk fast, think fast, and invariably all sound the same. A Mamet play remains an exercise in speed; speed, I believe Mamet would say, kills.
Does Speed The Plow kill? Oh, yes. Its two men—Bobby Gould and Charlie Fox (old Hollywood dogs, at least by Hollywood terms, where its denizens age in canine years)—search for a movie that will make them rich/respected/feared. Fox believes he’s found it; a script coveted by big movie star Douglas Brown, some terrible (we assume) story about prison friendship, described by Gould as a “a buddy film, a prison film…” Gould has recently been promoted to head of production, and Fox is now certain he can get this film made with Douglas Brown attached. They convince each other the film is special, it’s something worth making, that it will bring them millions. Do we know this plan is doomed to encounter obstacles? Of course we do. Otherwise it wouldn’t be dramatic. How we get to that doom is unexpected, and therein lies Mamet’s talent. But what is Mamet trying to express with this play? And how does he arrive at this expression?
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Stories about the moviemaking business are an old genre; few things make a writer more happy than the illusion of their singular importance to any given project, and from Nathaniel West to Daniel Fuchs we’ve read enough pages detailing the poor schnook trying to navigate his way through the minefield of Hollywood mediocrity and into those Elysian Fields of “artistic integrity.” Yet Mamet gives us a break from the poor schnook; in Speed The Plow his aspiring artists are C-level producers talking themselves in and out of decisions, uncertain what will work and what won’t. Gould and Fox are both obtuse and cynically brilliant, recognizing the futility of their quest by talking in circles—one could argue Mamet’s view of life in general is a push against futility, hence his characters often struggle to express themselves[1]—but their hope remains because they are members of a fatally ambitious troupe: the Hollywood set.
But discussion of the Brown script is put on hold as Gould details the fool’s errand sent by studio head Richard Ross. Ross has given Gould an “important novel” to courtesy read. Refusal is implicit in the courtesy label; Ross has no intention of ever greenlighting this novel (titled “The Bridge or, Radiation and the Half-Life of Society”). As Gould explains to Karen, his temporary secretary:
Now: Ross, no dummy, says of course, he’ll read the book. Gives me the book to read, so when he tells the author “how he loved the book but it won’t make a movie,” he can say something intelligent about it. You get it? This, in the business, is called a “courtesy read.”
But a funny thing happened on the way to the rejection pile: Gould likes the novel. It distracts him from the Brown script. Of course his affection for the book is deepened by Karen’s agreement, and inflamed by his lust for her. Her allying with his affinity for “The Bridge” as a work of art and not just a commodity literally turns him on. Gould, we sense, is entering a mid-life crisis. He has just been promoted to head of production, presumably a cause for celebration, yet Karen awakens within him a desire to create art.
Art. A nearly-meaningless word, but in grasping for his job to mean something other than a life spent in pursuit of profit, Gould replaces art with purity, perhaps also meaning authenticity—again, Mamet is being both cynical and painfully earnest—and he tells Karen: “This job corrupts you. You start to think, all the time ‘what do these people want from me?’ And everything becomes a task.” Are we to take Gould at his word? Sure. As Gould insists:
“What about Art?” I’m not an artist. Never said I was, and nobody who sits in this chair can be. I’m a businessman. “Can’t we try to make good films?” Yes. We try. I’m going to try to make a good film of this prison film…There is a way things are. Some people are elected, try to change the world, this job is not that job.
Producers doth protest too much; they want to be the artists, and yet realize they cannot be the artist because they lack the talent for words. So how do they cope? By insisting the opposite, while at the same time uneasily balancing between film as a business vs. film as art, and making a habit of screwing over writers.[2]
Back to the play. Act One ends with Gould asking Karen to read the novel and meet him at his place to discuss. We know what “discuss” means, but we also hope there’s some nobility in Gould’s attempt—that he’s not just chasing young tail, but is searching for someone to agree with him that this ridiculous novel with its apocalyptic visions and forced metaphors of radiation and decay mirroring civilization’s collapse…that this novel is the antidote to the Douglas Brown buddy/prison film.
Act Two is Karen and Gould at Gould’s place, an elongated seduction scene where the audience isn’t quite sure who’s the seducer. At times it seems like Gould manipulates Karen with faux integrity, recognizing her desire to be a part of this novel-not-quite-optioned-for-a-film. He lays it on thick and meaty:
Look: I’m going to pay you the compliment of being frank. I’m going to talk to you. Power, people who are given a slight power, tend to think, they think that they’re the only one that has these ideas, pure ideas, whatever, no matter. And, listen to me. Listen. I’m going to tell you. This book. Your book. On The End of the World which has meant so much to you…My job: my job, my new job…is not even to “make,” it is to “suggest,” to “push,” to champion…good work, I hope…choosing from Those Things Which the Public Will Come In To See.
Gould is suddenly a babe in the woods as Karen—armed with seductive powers—convinces him this novel must be made into a movie, and that Gould’s fear of taking risks is the real reason he invited her over. That, in fact, his attempt to bed her is a cover for what Gould really wants: A reason to be artistically bold. Karen says:
You asked read the book. I read the book. Do you know what it says? It says that you were put here to make stories people need to see. To make them less afraid. It says in spite of our transgressions—that we could do something.
The seduction is reversed; Karen beds Gould, and the second act ends with Karen convincing Gould to forget the buddy/prison movie. His calling is this novel. His calling is helping Karen achieve what most young girls in Mamet stories want: success by climbing atop the backs of powerful men.[3]
Act Three starts with Gould—we imagine him still reeking of sex—telling Fox the Douglas Brown film is off. Instead, Gould says he is going to greenlight the book. Fox, as one would imagine, is livid. The object of his scorn becomes Karen, whom he sees as a temptress, a calculating girl using Gould’s mid-life crisis as a pressure point to get what she wants. It’s not about the book or the Doug Brown film; Mamet makes their argument about authenticity. Fox insists Gould is blinded by lust, that he has no real interest in making an “important” movie from some fancy novel, that in fucking Karen he lost sight of a shared goal: making movies people will see, rather than “important” movies or “artistic” movies or whatever nearly-meaningless adjective Fox can attach to that one hundred and twenty minutes of celluloid passing for “cinema.”
And what does Karen want? To be involved, at the ground level, in the making of a movie. The Douglas Brown film is separate from her, but she was a reader for the novel. Never mind the realities of readers being quite literally a dime-a-dozen in the studio system—Karen grasps for any foothold. Fox sees this. He is amazed that Gould does not. We, the reader, see this, but are not amazed Gould does not. Why? Because Mamet refuses to make him entirely cynical. Gould does want to make an important film, and Karen has awakened something within him, as revealed at the end, when Gould says to Fox: “I wanted to do Good…But I became foolish.” Good capitalized, as though representing some Platonic notion, and Gould sounding like a child, infantilized by both Karen and Fox, the head of production suddenly made helpless. He even puts Fox’s name first in their imaginary title for the Douglas Brown film—can you imagine a head of production allowing such a thing?—and Mamet rightly guesses this act of largesse will win us over.
GOULD: We’re here to make a movie.
FOX: Whose name goes above the title?
GOULD: Fox and Gould.
FOX: Then how bad can life be?
So what, if anything, is Mamet trying to express in Speed The Plow? In our search for his intent we must first discover the central question: Will Gould and Fox get their movie made? It could also be: Will they succeed in pitching it to Richard Ross? The crisis occurs once Karen convinces Gould to switch movies. The resolution is Fox’s unveiling of Karen’s machinations, throwing her from the scene and their lives. Mamet’s focus is clear: he never strays from the central question, throwing hurdles at every opportunity. Yet there is an abridged feeling to this play, an unrealized potential for a greater satire about the business of Hollywood and the uncomfortable marriage of art and commodity.[4]
Using the previous sentence as a temporary answer to the “What’s it All About?” we can see where Mamet fell short of his mark. His style is paramount—much time is spent (non-fans would say wasted) in typical Mamet back-and-forth patter, which neither moves the plot forward nor differentiates the characters because they all sound the same.[5] It does entertain, but it entertains in the way dessert served first fills you up; we might have no room left over for the meal, but we don’t feel entirely satisfied.
So why, then, does Mamet make this choice? Why settle for a simple satire of the Hollywood system, not fully-realized, with the only female a vamp and two producers sounding like ultra-cool versions of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum? I suggest he “settled” because this play was about one man’s quest for authenticity, in some ways a one act divided into three parts, never quite leaving Gould’s struggles, letting us watch him almost escape the vicissitudes of his career—the movie guy who’s not really supposed to care about movies—and it remains a character survey, quotidian by design and necessity. Focused to a few scenes—an office, Gould’s apartment—Mamet relies on his strongest talent: the language.
And what language! His Girl Friday written as if Ben Hecht had attention deficit disorder. Characters stop in mid-sentence, repeat themselves, and sound both fumbling and impossibly slick—their confusion becomes our confusion, though the brilliance of Mamet is his ability to say more than what you hear. The audience fills in the gaps; we understand before the characters do. Mamet makes his point—the system is ridiculous, profit wins the day, people will screw you (literally) for a sliver of the possibility of moving one tiny rung up the ladder. Yet buried within Mamet’s satire we discover a portrayal of a lost man. Gould, the aging, at-one-time infant terrible clutching both his young secretary and a novel of decay and apocalypse. As if making a movie about the End of It All will ward away Gould’s own demise, this “artistic” novel representing Gould’s peace offering, as it were, to the gods of drama. But the gods prove fickle in Mamet’s play; or, more likely, Gould’s decision to abandon his dream proves there were never any gods to begin with.
[1] A noble push, at that; despite his cynicism, I would argue Mamet insists the struggle against futility is worthy, not because it necessarily leads anywhere, but because, as Mamet would probably say: “We toil, we struggle; for what? That’s what.”
[2] The screwing-over-writers part doesn’t require Freudian analysis to decipher what’s going on—awe turns to envy turns to loathing. I use “awe” because even the most experienced producer doesn’t quite understand just how that writer gets all those words in the correct order, even if said experienced producer knows structure, motivation, and every element of Aristotelian/McKee/Field story theory.
[3] David Mamet has been criticized for his portrayal of women, and I’m sure Speed-The-Plow did little to silence his critics. But his choice to use Karen as both temptress and Gould’s conscience—picture a lingerie-clad angel on Gould’s left shoulder, with Fox as the devil on his right—is an interesting reversal and deserves credit. Karen is not all bad; she’s just as ambitious as her two male counterparts, and might be right about that novel. But she admits she would not have slept with Gould had he not agreed with her about the book, and this admission—while courageous and revealing of a double standard—ultimately places Karen into vamp territory.
[4] Mamet further explored these themes in the films Wag the Dog and State and Main.
[5] I must imagine a Mamet retort to this criticism: “Sure they sound the same, but they all use different words.”
Originally published in Total Theater Magazine, June 2010
I Am Waiting
A bunch of correspondence today. Random, cranky, what have you. Must be the heat.
Hello Sir,
We met briefly at the Comic-Con. You were speaking with someone at the IDW table, I was an artist waiting to pitch you an idea. Unfortunately you had to run, but you were kind enough to give me your email and I though I’d lost it. Two items: 1. Will you be at the Comic-Con this year? 2. Do you have any interest in steampunk? Specifically, Gibson-type storylines.
Respectfully,
G. Patel
Sadly I will not be attending the CC this year. I’ll wait until I have something to sell–not that being an observer wasn’t fun (it was great), but it’s a haul from the right coast, and I spent way too much on original artwork, and I’m saving the trip for next year (if all goes well on the Scudder front). Also, I was so clearly a Boston chap that I cringe a little when remembering my dark suit. Surrounded by costumed superheroes (Snake Eyes, Rorschach, etc.) I wore a Hugo Boss ensemble and sweated my way from table to table, looking like…well, like a guy who just flew in from Boston.
As for the steampunk, I have waning interest in that genre. I find the concept cooler than the execution (shades of Lovecraft), and a bit too Victorian, and Moore does it better than anyone.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m irradiating myself. Hours spent in bed, laptop propped over my crotch. That can’t be healthy, right?
Micah,
Are you going to see the remake of Let the Right One In? I remember you posting something about that movie, and how you thought it was fantastic. What are your thoughts on remakes?
P.S. How goes the Yiddish?
P.P.S. What type of dog is Scout?
P.P.P.S. What’s the deal with fat Elvis?
Best,
Caroline
So I insisted Let the Right One In was one of the best horror films I’ve seen. It still is. It’s remake? I have little interest. Why? Because it’s a remake of a very recent film, and the few snippets I’ve seen look…what’s that phrase…on the nose. Obvious dialogue, obvious acting. The film may end up being good, but the original was excellent, so why bother with a reboot? So I don’t have to read subtitles?
I have no opinion on remakes. If they improve a lousy film, great. If they re-invent a classic (as in Carpenter’s The Thing), even better. If they merely echo a recent movie, however…wait, didn’t I just give an opinion? Several, in fact? Brian Jenkins asked if there’s any topic I don’t have an opinion of. This after my rant on what’s wrong with the color periwinkle (too much violet).
Yiddish is going slowly. So slowly. Reading it aloud, I find it impossible to not add that lilting uptick to every last word, as if forever asking questions. Fat Elvis? Are you asking what is the deal with Elvis becoming fat? Or is this a question about the cover? As to the former, he was raised in near-poverty, constantly beset by hunger. So when the man became rich, food became comfort.
I cannot believe how much heat a tiny laptop generates. It might also be the 90 degree temp, creating a perfect firestorm over my crotch. Must move to kitchen table…must stop irradiating genetic material…
Ahh. Better. Last email. A weird one.
Nathan,
I hope finds you well. Please answer this debate with my girlfriend: Which is better, to be scared or to be angry?
Want to know!
This has such a spam syntax to it that I was searching for Cialis ads along the bottom. Non-native English speaker? Perhaps. Bored troll having a laugh? Maybe. But there’s something authentic about the question. It’s both inane and terrific; I mean, scared of what? and angry at what? Do specifics even matter? I’ll bite: I think being scared is better.
Two young boys were sledding one wintry afternoon. After screaming down the hill, flying off their sleds, and crashing into a shrub, the first boy looked to the second and asked: “Were you scared?”
“No,” the second boy said.
“Then you must not have been having fun,” the first boy said. “Because I was really scared.”
How very true.
P.S. Almost forgot—Scout is a German Shorthaired Pointer.
A Curious Spite
So I managed to get something out of all this academic writing: an essay on David Mamet’s Speed The Plough. It’s not going to win any awards or be cited in future critiques of his work, but at least it’s found some online permanence. The massive theater database Total Theater added my piece to their archives. Now, there are some formatting issues, some missing footnotes, etc., but you can find the full version on my site. Or visit Total Theater. Or do neither.
I find myself missing school these days. The fickle bastard does not disappoint—I complained about how it took time away from writing, now I long for the structure. Did you see this coming? I did. The year is past. I have a desk filled with short fiction and an unwillingness to do anything with it. I had lunch with a (former) classmate and while sitting across from her, watching her pick away at a slice of pizza, I realized how quickly eras become dream-like. The pretext for our meeting was gone; hours earlier I’d been sitting alone in the student union, munching on a bag of almonds, visiting campus for no good (or bad) reason. None of it seemed real. By “real” I mean a part of any grand, linear narrative—school remained separate from my personal life, thus occupying its own timeline. There was class, and there was my home. There was school writing, and my own writing. There were my school friends, and my “real life” friends.
False distinctions? Perhaps. Common among older students? Perhaps. Whatever the case, it all seems like a dream. Now I sit in my living room once more, gazing out the window at the sprinkler on my neighbor’s lawn. Nostalgia doesn’t feel accurate. It’s more like…malinconia.


